So this is going to be a far cry from my last post. Since then war has broken out between Israel and Hamas in the Gaza Strip. I just wrote "broken out." War is the subject. Maybe that's a mistake. Maybe Hamas started it by refusing to renew the truce and launching rockets on Sderot. Maybe Israel then went overboard in its counterattack. I opposed Israel's attacks on Gaza, still do though it's a moot point now. I've outlined my ideas for Israeli-Palestinian peace before. But I'm feeling really hurt, lost and alienated now. Mostly because I read this.

I don't really know how to feel right now. This makes me so angry. I love Israel, or at least, I love the idea of Israel. I love many of the people of Israel, admire Israeli soldiers. I often disagree with the government, but I admire the fact that Israel is a free society. I look fondly at Israel's socialist heritage.

But banning Arab parties? That strikes me as racism. It goes against my Jewish, Zionist and human ideals. I suppose it's good that the Supreme Court will throw the bans out, showing that institutionally, Israel is at least committed to equality. But this isn't just the government. It's Kadima and Labor and most of the rest of them together. And I imagine if Israelis were polled many if not most would be in favor of these bans.

There are good people, mostly on the Left, in Meretz, maybe even a few in labor, who opposed this ban. But not enough. The ban must be overturned. It should never have been supported.

I feel betrayed. Which is a bit weird because I'm not Israeli. I don't live there, don't vote, don't really have a say. My money is not where my mouth is, so to speak.

And so I feel more alienated. I'm not American but I live in the United States. I am Canadian but don't live in Canada. My Jewish identity is intact but my Zionism is shaken. Not broken. It's still there, but it's dissatisfied. Disappointed. Ashamed. Which is perhaps brash of me to say here in New York. But I can't help how I feel.